Parental Control

Let me preface everything I am about to say with I love my future in-laws and am extremely lucky that all four are sane, loving, and caring. Today I got an email in my inbox and the title was Getting Along with Your Future In-Laws. Now this email didn’t look like spam so I opened it up and I guess it isn’t spam but it is from some weird photographers who bought my email address along with all my other personal info from the bridal show I attended, but that is for another day another post.

This article talks all about how in-laws today are different than in-laws of the past. In the past most Americans married the girl or boy next door, who had a similar upbringing, religious beliefs, etc. That made it easier for the bride and groom to understand how each others' parents behaved, and how they are expected to behave with them (e.g., calling them Mr. or Mrs. Whatever versus calling them by their first names). This never occurred to me that I might be viewed as disrespectful because I have always called my future in-laws by their first names. I was just doing what I knew was right and seeing that my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncle have no issues being called by their first names I just made the assumption that it was ok for me to call all of Barry’s relatives (except his grandparents) by their first name as well.

The article also goes on and states you’re not just marrying a person, but their family as well! Plus, since his/her parents are the ones who raised your spouse to be, you can learn a lot about what to expect from your spouse in your marriage, in terms of behavior, personality, etc. This can not be truer. I am lucky that I am getting another KICK ASS family. Barry’s cousins are awesome, his aunts and uncles are great, his parents have been so loving and welcoming, and I can only wish that Barry and I have a successful marriage like his grandparents. I am also confident that his parents have raised a man who is caring, compassionate, driven, meticulous, fun, hard working, and spontaneous, the list can go on and on and for that I will be forever grateful.

So this article opened my eyes just a little more that I need to realize that my norms are not always Barry’s norms and more than likely that means they aren’t his parents or family’s norms as well. And at the end of the day we (Barry and I) are truly lucky to be gaining families that love and care for both of us and will be there to help foster our relationship.

xoxo
britt